Life of an Epileptic

One day I will wake up and wont have a migraine. My day will go on like any other human being. I won’t have to worry about taking any drugs, prescriptions or even being cautious.

One day I will be able to drink like a fish, my liver wont stop me from drinking at any point so I can be free from that thought. There will be a day where my mom wont wake up every night with fear just to see if I’m having an attack or not.

One day I will be happy that all my worries are gone and will not be scared to go to sleep. I will make sure that there will be a day where I can drink 4 gallons on coke without even thinking about what it does to my bladder. My bestfriend’s are drugs; Norflox, Topomax, Tegretol, Broufen and I can go on. As a child my dreams were filled with pressure, not the kind of pressure that your parents put you through, I had the pressure of two trains ramming my head together. I would get up in between and I would be sweating and my hand or leg would go numb. Do you know what’s the worst? When your whole face goes numb and you can’t call anyone for help because it hurts, it really hurts. All you can do is wither and cry.

One day, I will wake up and the world will sleep because they need to know how I feel when I am dormant. I can’t go swimming alone so I just stopped swimming, I tell people “swimming’s not my thing, I just like to sunbathe” , I can’t drive, when people ask me why I don’t want a drivers license I just tell them “I’d rather get a car and someone drive it for me”. I try not to care though, my life’s pretty much going in the right direction.

One day, I will fight my way through and be someone no one could be. I promise you ma.

A perfect Cliche

Have you ever had that feeling where you thought you were going to lose someone so precious and you couldn’t stand the thought of it? 
Well I have. Twice. 
It’s these moments where you realize that when  something so valuable enters your life ,
you make sure you don’t lose it or spoil it, because it’s going to be with you for quite a long time. Life is very unexpected. Make the best of your present so in your future you can talk about the happy times of your past. I’ve found myself an element that has turned me into gold. My heart was a stone until the day I kissed the love of my life, when suddenly it started to crack into a beat, a heartbeat. I became radiant as soon as our eyes met. You could say that he practically gave me life.

To be humorous I would love to say that when he lectures me, I space out, I hear things, I start imagining a world  of Clint Mansell’s music while i'm lost in Snow White's dark forsest. When he kisses me, I feel like it's raining and the sun is shining only for us. 

Have you ever wished  for a perfect relationship like a Nicholas Sparks novel  where everything is perfect between you and your beau. Well my relationship is more out of  a Jane Austen book where all her love stories are twisted but perfect.

I feel I have  found my Mr. Big , in every right way possible. One day I dream that, I wake up and we love each other again just like we did, with patience.



Until then, let the wind take us away. 

'The Vow '

"I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness, and to have the patience that love demands. To speak when words are needed, and to share the silence when they're not. To agree to disagree on red velvet cake, and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home."-Paige

“I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms now and forever. I promise never to forget that this is a once in a lifetime love, and always know in the deepest part of my soul that no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find our way back to each other.”-Leo 

Patience of Love.

Before I met you I was hurt , broken and I lost my hope in love. I had never thought I would feel like this again . A fairytale is what you are to me , Sir . It’s really easy to find ‘true’ love but what we have is the ‘right’ love. No matter what the consequence is we still can’t live without each other. Without you next to me I feel powerless and unprotected. My only fear is that if  you ever seek love in someone else other than me.  People say I’m a piece of work and you still choose to stay with me , I love you for that.  You made it so easy for me to fall for you and now that you’re leaving all I want to do is look at you and be all cuddled up in your arms. When you leave , I’ll start to count the days , day by day, till you come back because funnily that’s what my life will be when you’re gone , a count down.I want you to be happy with me wherever you may be. The distance really isn’t a problem for me. I will wait for you as long as it takes.  I’m sorry I gave you an impression that made you think that I was falling for someone else. The love I have for you is so powerful that no one can ever come between us , I promise you. I know you don’t trust me. You don’t have to lie to me. It’s okay. But I will do anything and everything to earn that trust my love. Because being with you , I have learnt the meaning of patience , the patience of love.

The planet is fine , The people are fucked !!

"we’re so self-important. so arrogant. everybody’s going to save something now. save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. and the supreme arrogance? save the planet! are these people kidding? save the planet? we don’t even know how to take care of ourselves; we haven’t learned how to care for one another. we’re gonna save the fucking planet? and, by the way, there’s nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. the planet is fine. the people are fucked! compared with the people, the planet is doing great. it’s been here over four billion years. the planet isn’t going anywhere, folks. we are! we’re going away. pack your shit, we’re going away. and we won’t leave much of a trace. thank god for that. nothing left. maybe a little styrofoam. the planet will be here, and we’ll be gone. another failed mutation; another closed-end biological mistake." - George Carlin

“To Be Or Not To Be”

Never lose hope in yourself. If someone tells you that you cannot do something that you are capable of doing, do not listen to him or her, if you do, Then your mind is *fucked* it will weaken and you will start to doubt your strength. Say to yourself “no one except myself tells me that I am not capable of doing something” because 'you' are the only one who knows your strengths and weaknesses.

Never cry in front of someone you loathe but loved at one point of time. It shows that you cannot keep your feet on the ground by yourself. Ignore and let go. Hurt , but do not express it.

Never hurt someone that means so much to you even though they hate you , stand there and breathe these words ; “ I shall never repeat my mistakes ever again in my life so I can never have a painful past " . As these mistakes are just painful Memories.

Peace Motherfuckers

Goodnight : )  

Appreciate

Santa Barbara

 

I take things for granted even though I know how much people suffer in this world without even having the word 'granted' exist in their vocabulary. Sometimes you look at your self in the mirror and  picture yourself as a person who you would want to be and not the person who you are already..


We never appreciate the things that are given to us , we always want more and nothing is ever enough for us. Some people may agree and some may not. But this is what 'I' think. I wont ever take a 'no' for an answer. That's one of my biggest problems. 


I always have to be the right one even though i'm wrong half the time. I used to think that if there's no love in this world then there is no hope to happiness. Now that I look at ,it's the other way around, if there's love in this world then there is no hope to happiness. 


Some times I just look at my life as a blessing , an appreciation and a gift. 


When you're ever feeling down or unhappy , do what most people would do. 
Go back to 1960 and listen to The Beatles and just have a great trip ahead :D

Right now , in my life , i'm between two objects . I'm a fucking Mesopotamia.